Some days I look at my kid’s allergy action plan and wonder how we survived childhood. Then I remember that “surviving childhood” used to mean something entirely different. Like, “hope you don’t die before first grade” different.
When your grandpa complains about “kids these days with their allergies,” just smile and say, “Yeah, but in your day, 1 in 20 kids didn’t make it to age 5.” Suddenly that gluten intolerance seems pretty tame.
Here’s the Deal
- “Back in my day we didn’t have allergies” — because half the kids were already dead.
Seriously. Go back a few generations and childhood mortality was insane. We’re talking 10% of kids dying before age 5 in many places, not 0.5%. Your great-grandma didn’t “not have allergies” — she had a 1-in-10 chance of just not existing past toddlerhood. And if she was “sickly,” well, she probably was. But nobody called it “allergy” because they were too busy trying not to lose another kid to dysentery.
“My grandpa shits like nobody’s business after bread” — aka, undiagnosed celiac.
My Nana only got diagnosed with celiac about 20 years ago. Before that? She just had “digestive issues.” She managed to have 12 kids despite it, but some of her kids inherited the full-blown version. See the pattern? It wasn’t that these conditions didn’t exist — it’s that we didn’t have the tools (or the lifespan) to notice them.Population explosion = allergy explosion.
More people = more chances for weird genetic combos to pop up. But also, we’re diagnosing things now that would’ve been shrugged off as “bad humors” or “being delicate.” It’s like suddenly having microscopes and realizing the world is full of microbes — not that microbes suddenly appeared.The “cleaner homes = more allergies” theory — it’s kinda wild.
Our immune systems evolved to fight off parasites and bacteria constantly. Now that we’ve mostly eliminated those threats, the immune system is like, “Okay, fine, I’ll fight this peanut butter instead.” It’s bored. It needs a hobby. So it picks fights with harmless stuff. My house is a disaster zone, and my kid still has dairy allergies — but maybe if we got a pet pig and stopped using antibacterial soap, we’d be golden? (Not medical advice, just spitballing.)
“You’re allergic to what?!” — because exposure matters.
Your ancestors in, say, 16th-century Britain probably never saw a peanut. So even if they were deathly allergic, how would they know? Peanuts became common much later. Same with fish, citrus, etc. Allergies aren’t new — our global food supply is. Now you can be allergic to something your ancestors never even dreamed of.Allergies don’t care about natural selection.
This is the fun part: Natural selection only works if the trait stops you from reproducing. Allergies? Not so much. You can be deathly allergic to shellfish and still have kids — you just avoid shellfish. The gene lives on. It’s like evolution’s “meh” moment. Also, some allergies might even be useful in weird ways (immune systems are complicated).Sometimes you just… develop an allergy.
Like me and peanuts. Loved them as a kid. Ate them daily. Then at 15, one gave me anaphylaxis. Now? Death sentence. Later in life, I had a blood test and… not allergic anymore. Biology is wild. It’s like your immune system just decided to flip a coin one day.The “Boo Radley” effect — we just called weirdos “weirdos.”
Remember Boo Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird? Just a recluse. Today? Maybe autism, maybe PTSD. We didn’t “not have autism” — we just didn’t have the words. Same with mental illness being “possession” or “bad blood.” Now we can actually help people instead of just locking them away or praying the demons out.
Until Next Time
So the next time someone says, “We didn’t have this stuff when I was a kid,” just smile. They’re right — they also didn’t have antibiotics, vaccines, or a 99.5% chance of surviving childhood. We’ve traded one set of problems for another, and honestly? I’ll take the allergies. At least I get to live long enough to complain about them.
Life expectancy used to be “pray you don’t die young.” Now it’s “pray you don’t accidentally eat a peanut.” Progress is weird like that.